I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
