sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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