I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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