Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Randomize
