i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
3 2 1 whiskey
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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