I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
