It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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