Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
If I had your ass I would rule the world
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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