I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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