she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
