Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
