If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
