Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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