Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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