I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
love makes seman taste better
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
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