so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
