Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
