Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
