Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
smell my finger.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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