cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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