Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
