did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize