Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I was not drunk enough for that final.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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