dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
