even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
