if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
