I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
