Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Do vagina's smell?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
