i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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