I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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