Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
