HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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