Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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