i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
