Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
