Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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