What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
