ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
