I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
