This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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