i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm at about main and main street
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
