Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
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