I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
