I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
