I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
