i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
