do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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