its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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