all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
