He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
