im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
